Emotional Editing
I noticed a recurring pattern while editing my books and articles. It is far easier to edit logical, factual, or funny sentences. They blast through grammar checks and rarely require changes. Why? These basic concepts do not require lofty explanations. X leads to Y, which causes Z. Simple, straightforward, basic, and easy to explain.
The pattern I noticed is that a sentence with passion, sadness, anger, or joy complicates everything. X happened, and Bob feels… Gahh. What does Bob feel? Bob is upset. No, let’s make him angry. Is “upset” different from “angry?” Well, sort of. X happened, and Bob felt angry. Wow, that reads awful. Bob cannot suddenly feel angry. Something must have set him off. We cannot randomly inject a basic feeling because readers require depth.
“Bob was so angry that his blood boiled.” Much better. Now, Bob requires a complete backstory with supporting dialog to reveal how his anger affects others. “Sally, I feel terrible. X makes my heart ache like a thousand needles are crushing it.” That is powerful but incomplete.
Does a human heart feel pain like being crushed by a thousand needles? The pain is not supposed to be sharp; it is supposed to be powerful. Wow, this basic emotional description became complex.
Last night, I edited two paragraphs for style and flow about the main character giving his horse to a low-income family. Functionally, it was fine, and on the surface, I addressed how the main character felt about the gift and how the family reacted. Nothing special was going on. I spent twenty minutes re-tweaking those paragraphs and was still not satisfied. So, I marked the font in red to remind me that this section needed work and moved on to the next paragraph.
What was the big issue? I spent the prior five pages building the bond between the horse and the main character. How can I compress that departure into two paragraphs? Yet, when I tried adding a third, it was blubbery nonsense. At the same time, I needed to make sure I used sound logic, grammar, and flow. Finding that balance between emotional content and good sentence structure always fights me to the death. To further complicate matters, every sentence had a mouthful of “I,” “feel,” “he/she,” and “me.” The result reads like a stuttering child who discovered a thesaurus. Those two paragraphs drove me bonkers.
On the other side of the coin, there must be distance, reflection, and regret. How did the main character feel three paragraphs later? Well, why not skip that emotional junk? That’s easy. Readers hate dispassionate stories.
The core of every good story rests on an emotional foundation. It is crucial to build the bridge into a reader’s mind. I enjoy writing about emotions because digging deep into a character’s mind is fun to pull out their most sacred thoughts.
What can I do? I have discovered a fantastic book called “The Emotion Thesaurus” by Angela Ackerman.
The pattern I noticed is that a sentence with passion, sadness, anger, or joy complicates everything. X happened, and Bob feels… Gahh. What does Bob feel? Bob is upset. No, let’s make him angry. Is “upset” different from “angry?” Well, sort of. X happened, and Bob felt angry. Wow, that reads awful. Bob cannot suddenly feel angry. Something must have set him off. We cannot randomly inject a basic feeling because readers require depth.
“Bob was so angry that his blood boiled.” Much better. Now, Bob requires a complete backstory with supporting dialog to reveal how his anger affects others. “Sally, I feel terrible. X makes my heart ache like a thousand needles are crushing it.” That is powerful but incomplete.
Does a human heart feel pain like being crushed by a thousand needles? The pain is not supposed to be sharp; it is supposed to be powerful. Wow, this basic emotional description became complex.
Last night, I edited two paragraphs for style and flow about the main character giving his horse to a low-income family. Functionally, it was fine, and on the surface, I addressed how the main character felt about the gift and how the family reacted. Nothing special was going on. I spent twenty minutes re-tweaking those paragraphs and was still not satisfied. So, I marked the font in red to remind me that this section needed work and moved on to the next paragraph.
What was the big issue? I spent the prior five pages building the bond between the horse and the main character. How can I compress that departure into two paragraphs? Yet, when I tried adding a third, it was blubbery nonsense. At the same time, I needed to make sure I used sound logic, grammar, and flow. Finding that balance between emotional content and good sentence structure always fights me to the death. To further complicate matters, every sentence had a mouthful of “I,” “feel,” “he/she,” and “me.” The result reads like a stuttering child who discovered a thesaurus. Those two paragraphs drove me bonkers.
On the other side of the coin, there must be distance, reflection, and regret. How did the main character feel three paragraphs later? Well, why not skip that emotional junk? That’s easy. Readers hate dispassionate stories.
The core of every good story rests on an emotional foundation. It is crucial to build the bridge into a reader’s mind. I enjoy writing about emotions because digging deep into a character’s mind is fun to pull out their most sacred thoughts.
What can I do? I have discovered a fantastic book called “The Emotion Thesaurus” by Angela Ackerman.
It is a fantastic resource to help authors show emotions, and I have gained a new understanding during the writing process. Yet… Even that fantastic book does not help much during the editing process. The only way to get better is to spend hours and hope some of it sinks in. Bummer.
In reading other works, I see that I am not alone. Many books overcompensate or miss the mark. Regular characters are emotional messes, and horrific characters are confusingly nice. I did not appreciate an excellent emotional scene until I sat down and edited/re-edited a few thousand paragraphs. Yes, I had to go over them more than once.
Fortunately, I see this area as something that I can improve upon. This struggle makes my heartache like a…
You’re the best -Bill
October 23 2019 Updated September 22, 2024
In reading other works, I see that I am not alone. Many books overcompensate or miss the mark. Regular characters are emotional messes, and horrific characters are confusingly nice. I did not appreciate an excellent emotional scene until I sat down and edited/re-edited a few thousand paragraphs. Yes, I had to go over them more than once.
Fortunately, I see this area as something that I can improve upon. This struggle makes my heartache like a…
You’re the best -Bill
October 23 2019 Updated September 22, 2024
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