The Day I Became an Adult
From a young age, my biggest goal was to be an adult. Why? Every single adult in my life was so amazing. What was not to look up to? They were tall, had endless wealth, freedom, at least one car, and did not have to attend school. Additionally, every adult was allowed to stay out late, watch any television program they wanted, and do as they pleased. As opposed to me, who was forced to follow all kinds of rules.
The problem was that there was a tidal wave of obstacles between young me and adulthood. I had to study, behave, and do what I was told. But then, it happened. I graduated from high school. That made me an adult. Right? I was happy to have graduated, but I did not feel like an adult. Besides, I had four years of college ahead of me.
Five years later (I had some issues), I graduated. And while I had anticipated I would immediately feel like an adult, I did not. Instead, I felt like an older kid. Besides, I had no job, and life was tough. After all, adults have it easy.
However, I then got a job and moved into a rented house with three roommates. Unfortunately, I was making copies at Kinko’s, but I was living on my own and had freedom. Still, it felt like I had regressed because I was not using my college degree.
Life got so bad that I had to move back in with my parents for a year. This setback harshly turned back my adulthood clock. Then, I got a real job and was able to purchase a house (with a 25-year mortgage). FINALLY, I was an adult. Living on my own, responsible, a homeowner, and free to do what I wanted. Yet, I was not. An adult should not be lonely.
After a few unsuccessful relationships, I got married to a wonderful woman. Yay! But even with all that going on, I did not feel it. Could I introduce myself as “Bill, the adult?” It did not seem like the truth.
Of course, I had all the markings of an adult—gray hair, a paycheck, savings, a car, a fantastic wife, and a house. And there were the “child” activities I no longer did. Ride dirt bikes, watch cartoons on Saturday morning, eat candy, play board games, or do everything my parents said.
Still, there were big changes. My wife and I were self-sufficient, meaning that we did not depend on our parents. We were a team. Just like two adults!
I was told all my life that being in a successful marriage is the textbook definition of being an adult. Still, I did not feel like I had officially joined the club. Fortunately, something happened that would surely change this. We had a wonderful daughter.
We did all the everyday things with her, and she indeed added a powerful element to our family. Yes, we were a family. Being a family requires two adults and at least one child. Still, I did not feel it. Sure, we put in all the effort to make my daughter happy. And we took on all the responsible tasks, such as sending her to school and setting limits. This all occurred while we were engaged in other adult activities, such as working, saving money, going on vacations, and paying our bills.
I put a lot of effort into convincing myself that I had cleared this last hurdle. It seemed true at first, but I knew something was missing. And I knew it had to do with my daughter.
Late at night, about 10 years ago, I heard a scream. I leaped out of bed, slammed open the door, and slipped on the carpet as I was making the turn to my daughter’s room. I burst in, ready to do significant harm to the person hurting my daughter. It took a few moments of rage for me to realize she was having a nightmare. So, I held onto her tightly as she cried, and my adrenaline level subsided from 10,000%.
It took time for her to recover, and that is when I noticed my wife was hugging both of us. I hobbled back to bed and massaged my ankle. It hurt, but there was no permanent damage. At that moment, something deep dawned on me. I did not give a darn (you know the swear word I was thinking of) about my ankle. I felt only relief that my daughter was fine.
At that lightning-bolt moment, I knew I had become an adult. Why? My daughter’s needs were the only needs that mattered. I finally joined the club and have never looked back.
Why discuss this now? I am in the outline stage of a new book series and have been working on character biographies. I use this brief document to establish fundamental details about background, relationships with other characters, and personality. I have learned the hard way that the most critical part of a character biography is the flaws. These gems provide the most depth in the reader’s eyes.
My idea for one main character is that he lost his daughter in a car accident, which sent him into a life-altering negative spiral. The plot is going to begin with him no longer feeling like an adult because he cannot support his daughter.
As I built the biography, I wondered how to craft this background. So, I took a high-level view and started at the beginning. When did this character first feel like he had achieved adulthood? Obviously, that occurred when his daughter was born. Umm, that sounded too predictable (corny).
I suddenly realized I could use my life experience. I stood and yelled to an empty room, “Readers will love that!” Yet, I have a strong warning for writers.
One of the mistakes I made in my first two books was using my life experiences directly as story material, character development, and dialogue. Readers can easily identify and dislike stories that are clearly the author pretending to have a better life than their own.
Thus, I will modify the above life experience to ensure it is not a direct copy. I look forward to crafting a powerful scene where my character pours his heart out. Will the scene work? At this rate, my loyal readers will have to wait about five years to find out.
You’re the best -Bill
August 26, 2025
The problem was that there was a tidal wave of obstacles between young me and adulthood. I had to study, behave, and do what I was told. But then, it happened. I graduated from high school. That made me an adult. Right? I was happy to have graduated, but I did not feel like an adult. Besides, I had four years of college ahead of me.
Five years later (I had some issues), I graduated. And while I had anticipated I would immediately feel like an adult, I did not. Instead, I felt like an older kid. Besides, I had no job, and life was tough. After all, adults have it easy.
However, I then got a job and moved into a rented house with three roommates. Unfortunately, I was making copies at Kinko’s, but I was living on my own and had freedom. Still, it felt like I had regressed because I was not using my college degree.
Life got so bad that I had to move back in with my parents for a year. This setback harshly turned back my adulthood clock. Then, I got a real job and was able to purchase a house (with a 25-year mortgage). FINALLY, I was an adult. Living on my own, responsible, a homeowner, and free to do what I wanted. Yet, I was not. An adult should not be lonely.
After a few unsuccessful relationships, I got married to a wonderful woman. Yay! But even with all that going on, I did not feel it. Could I introduce myself as “Bill, the adult?” It did not seem like the truth.
Of course, I had all the markings of an adult—gray hair, a paycheck, savings, a car, a fantastic wife, and a house. And there were the “child” activities I no longer did. Ride dirt bikes, watch cartoons on Saturday morning, eat candy, play board games, or do everything my parents said.
Still, there were big changes. My wife and I were self-sufficient, meaning that we did not depend on our parents. We were a team. Just like two adults!
I was told all my life that being in a successful marriage is the textbook definition of being an adult. Still, I did not feel like I had officially joined the club. Fortunately, something happened that would surely change this. We had a wonderful daughter.
We did all the everyday things with her, and she indeed added a powerful element to our family. Yes, we were a family. Being a family requires two adults and at least one child. Still, I did not feel it. Sure, we put in all the effort to make my daughter happy. And we took on all the responsible tasks, such as sending her to school and setting limits. This all occurred while we were engaged in other adult activities, such as working, saving money, going on vacations, and paying our bills.
I put a lot of effort into convincing myself that I had cleared this last hurdle. It seemed true at first, but I knew something was missing. And I knew it had to do with my daughter.
Late at night, about 10 years ago, I heard a scream. I leaped out of bed, slammed open the door, and slipped on the carpet as I was making the turn to my daughter’s room. I burst in, ready to do significant harm to the person hurting my daughter. It took a few moments of rage for me to realize she was having a nightmare. So, I held onto her tightly as she cried, and my adrenaline level subsided from 10,000%.
It took time for her to recover, and that is when I noticed my wife was hugging both of us. I hobbled back to bed and massaged my ankle. It hurt, but there was no permanent damage. At that moment, something deep dawned on me. I did not give a darn (you know the swear word I was thinking of) about my ankle. I felt only relief that my daughter was fine.
At that lightning-bolt moment, I knew I had become an adult. Why? My daughter’s needs were the only needs that mattered. I finally joined the club and have never looked back.
Why discuss this now? I am in the outline stage of a new book series and have been working on character biographies. I use this brief document to establish fundamental details about background, relationships with other characters, and personality. I have learned the hard way that the most critical part of a character biography is the flaws. These gems provide the most depth in the reader’s eyes.
My idea for one main character is that he lost his daughter in a car accident, which sent him into a life-altering negative spiral. The plot is going to begin with him no longer feeling like an adult because he cannot support his daughter.
As I built the biography, I wondered how to craft this background. So, I took a high-level view and started at the beginning. When did this character first feel like he had achieved adulthood? Obviously, that occurred when his daughter was born. Umm, that sounded too predictable (corny).
I suddenly realized I could use my life experience. I stood and yelled to an empty room, “Readers will love that!” Yet, I have a strong warning for writers.
One of the mistakes I made in my first two books was using my life experiences directly as story material, character development, and dialogue. Readers can easily identify and dislike stories that are clearly the author pretending to have a better life than their own.
Thus, I will modify the above life experience to ensure it is not a direct copy. I look forward to crafting a powerful scene where my character pours his heart out. Will the scene work? At this rate, my loyal readers will have to wait about five years to find out.
You’re the best -Bill
August 26, 2025
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