Evil Richard
I got my first summer job at 20 when I worked at Kinkos. They are a copy center and big surprise; I made copies. After college, I could not get a job because of the horrible 1994 economy, so I worked at Kinkos again. Not a great time.
One day, a person randomly came in wanting, big surprise, copies. It was company policy not to look at customer’s work, but everybody did it, leading to my first job. It was a tiny place, but I had a blast because there were no other engineers, and I could do things however I wanted.
The owner died, and the company folded. Major bummer. So, I tried to start my own business, which ended in disaster, but I learned a lot.
A year later, I took a job at a medical device company. This business was huge with procedures, documentation processes, production, and many employees. I had engineering coworkers, meetings, and had to follow established rules for the first time—quite an adjustment and learning curve.
Our group had about ten engineers, and we were coupled with documentation, which had five people. While a little dysfunctional, everybody got along, and the company made respectable products. I learned a lot quickly in those early years, especially people skills.
Like all big companies, there were hard workers, slackers, brilliant innovators, introverts, hard-headed opinionators, saboteurs, backstabbers, coaches, sounding boards, helpers, underminers, mentors, boneheads, leaders, followers, offenders, jokers, and those to avoid at all costs.
If you were to categorize me at that time, I was a smart, bratty, undisciplined kid who did good work. A big part of my personality was and continues to be pride, meaning that I had difficulty listening to criticism, suggestions, and following the rules. I was not a bad coworker, but I certainly needed improvement.
I could write at least one article about every one of my coworkers at the time, but I wanted to focus on one. His name was Richard, and he was a fellow electrical engineer. At that time, I was 25, and he was in his late 40s. At first, we went out to lunch together and enjoyed talking about engineering, the company, women, life, and the news.
Richard was a real “man’s man.” Bold, arrogant, confident, overcompensating, and thought he had a dashing look. He loved sexist jokes and would often comment, “I’ll put a man on it. Ha, ha, ha.” Physically, he needed to lose 30 pounds but otherwise dressed well.
Richard’s expertise was in power supply design. And I admit he indeed cobbled together some knowledge. His designs mostly worked, but they were sloppy. And I will admit to something else. I learned a lot from Richard.
He helped me out many times with power supplies, especially one called a CUC converter. I also learned a lot about life, especially female coworkers. The biggest lesson was what not to do by observing him. Richard was a tank blinding driving into a minefield when it came to coworkers. He would talk to them, learn what they were about, and then tell us what not to say. Secretly, I wish every company had a person like him because it would save trips to the HR office for ordinary people like me who accidentally offend coworkers.
About eight months into my employment, things began changing. Richard became distant and started blaming me for his problems. His work had never been great, but this new wrinkle forced me into a bad situation during group projects. I openly criticized his work and requested he not be on my projects. My behavior did not go over well with my boss, but I had to maintain my sanity.
I can trace the change to when Richard began dating a woman who worked in the production department. Like him, she was a larger-than-life person with a forward personality. It was widely known that she had substance problems, and Richard followed her down that path.
Around that time, I had a friend named Garry and another friend with the same name. To distinguish them, my friend Ray named one Evil Garry and the other “less than Evil Gary.” Because we had two Richards at work, I began calling one Good Richard while privately calling the other Evil Richard. We all had a good laugh during meetings when he was not present.
Richard’s life rapidly spiraled, and a coworker witnessed him snorting lines of cocaine on his desk. He smelled strongly of booze every day, and it was common to see him drinking in his car before/during/after work. We all saw empty 750ml Jack Daniels bottles scattered around the parking lot.
About six months into the devastation, a considerable problem occurred. The company changed from using its internally developed power supply to an outside vendor. Richard oversaw the selection process, and the rumor was that the saleswoman of the winning design had a relationship with Richard. (At this point, he broke off the relationship with the woman in the production department. I think this was because of her substance abuse or poor performance.)
We had shipped about a thousand products with these new power supplies, which failed like popcorn. Fortunately, we had a power supply expert. Yay? Richard bumbled around for a month investigating the issue until our boss called in an expert power supply consultant. (Note: Richard openly requested that I was not to be a part of this critical investigation. I was happy to comply and watch him fail.)
Together, the expert and drunk Richard attacked the problem. They were not progressing, and the boss hired a “problem-solving” consultant to manage the data. He helped focus the investigation and was instrumental in uncovering the problems. On a side note, the boss asked him to teach a problem-solving class. I learned a lot and still have a folder with notes and materials.
After a month, they had uncovered several issues but could not replicate the core problem. So, they rented an epic amount of test equipment, including an electronic load. I had never seen one before and played with it after work. Yes, I blew up a power supply in the process. What did I do? I placed it back in their “tested good” pile of supplies.
Even with all this help, they were stumped. One day, I was in the lab and saw them completely frustrated. The expert loudly complained, “We cannot get this to fail!” I did not tell them that I knew the settings on the electronic load, which would take out the supply, but they agreed to look at what they were doing. Since I was an expert in the system, it was apparent the configuration was completely different from what we were shipping. So, I correctly set up the system, and the power supply failed. They were stunned! Did I get any credit for this big breakthrough? Of course not.
The power supply had three significant issues: faulty circuit design, improper assembly, and counterfeit parts. By the end of the investigation, Richard was reduced to a helper. I also overheard a conversation with the boss where the consultant complained about his alcohol breath.
Despite the body abuse, Richard was physically fit and played racquetball twice a week. He was on a round-robin team at the local gym, and they had a tradition. On odd weeks, one player would bring beer to celebrate the game; on even weeks, the other. One week, Richard accidentally signed up for a 3 pm game. So, he was out buying beer at 2:30, and who was in the parking lot as he strolled out with a six-pack? That’s right, the boss. He got six days of unpaid leave, and he had to explain to HR how he would clean up his act. We all laughed about this, but he still drank like a fish.
As part of our job, engineers must conduct a design review. Typically, companies conduct the review in a meeting where engineers and managers review the design, comment, make changes, and ask questions. I do not enjoy this activity, but I accept it is part of the job. Richard and I took this opportunity to tear each other apart.
A traditional design review ends with a list of suggestions for investigation, accepted changes, and open questions. Then, the designer would make updates, send out new drawings with the list of changes, and answer the questions. Next, the other engineers would comment over email.
Richard’s input during reviews was always stupid, but I still went through the exercise to defend my design and thoroughly answer his questions. Of course, he never wrote down my comments/questions in the review, and the boss never made a fuss. Yes, this unfair treatment ticked me off.
Another one of Richard’s issues was he drove like a maniac. Everybody knew to avoid the red Honda that routinely cut them off in the parking lot and nearby streets. It is a miracle he survived the drive home every day.
One of Richard’s quirks was that he never went anywhere without his notebook. Typically, engineers record their technical notes, but for Richard, this was his primary memory device. One day, he misplaced his notebook and did not know what was happening. There was no choice, and he had to start another. Turns out, he left it in my cubical. I saw it, laughed, and ignored it for a week. When I asked him about it, words cannot describe how happy he was to get it back. In retrospect, I should have opened it to see what he had recorded or made photocopies of the absurdity.
Around the time of the racquetball incident, I listened to the morning radio. The DJs asked the listeners to tell funny stories, and one caller described placing a wireless microphone in a deeply paranoid friend’s car. When the friend discovered it, the prankster said, “Wow, I bet there are listening devices all over your home.” The joke went overboard because the friend tore out his drywall to locate more devices.
I happened to have a Radio Shack wireless microphone and placed it behind Richard’s monitor with the antenna poking out. He found it and asked everybody if they saw anybody in his cubical. When he asked me, I casually mentioned, “Wow, I bet there are listening devices all over your home.” He did not tear out the drywall but searched for two days.
Something had to give, and one morning, Richard woke up paralyzed. His roommate took him to the hospital, and he needed a week to recover. Richard vowed off drugs and booze. This was a vast improvement, but the damage was done.
What did we do about this problem coworker? We all complained to the boss, but Richard continued to be employed. I recall several conversations where one of us would say, “Well, if Richard gets away with A, this means nobody will complain when I do B.” It is amazing how one bad team member can bring down a whole group.
Eventually, Richard saw what was coming (I know he got awful job reviews) and worked as a salesman at a local electronic parts distributor. When I learned he was leaving, I blurted out, “Clearly, that company did not have drug testing.” But the joke was on me. Richard has “the gift of gab,” and he became an outstanding salesperson. This lasted six years until the internet changed component marketing, and he lost his job.
I ran into Richard about ten years later. He looked healthier and now works for Sony designing power supplies. So, if you buy a Sony device, chances are he created the power supply. I hope you have fire insurance.
You’re the best -Bill
October 09, 2024
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