The following is an important press release:
“LENEXA, Kan., Nov. 3, 2022 /PRNewswire/ -- Hostess Brands is serving up four deliciously sweet holiday snacks this winter to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. Hostess® fans can enjoy some of their favorite festive treats in holiday and winter-wonderland-inspired selections of the brand’s classic snacks when they reach store shelves this month…”
See the full release here:
What is a press release? It is a document intended for public reading. Often these are available on the company’s website and get emailed to news organizations, customers, and investors.
There are three basic types of press releases. An attempt to generate media buzz is the first. The above example is a perfect example. The third is an apology or explanation for something that happened in the news.
My four regular blog readers are now familiar with my format, and this is the time that I ask, “But what does this have to do with writing?” I’m glad you asked. Press releases contain some of the worst (or best, depending on your perspective) writing. They are always written in the awkward third-person, contain unrealistic uplifting statements, and leave the reader skeptical or confused. However, if a reader can place this awkward style aside, they are funny to read.
Who cares what new products Hostess came out with?! If this high-calorie junk is in the store and looks good, I will buy it. Other than my four blog readers looking for a laugh, who would intentionally read such a foolish document? Hard to say.
Yet, I would hate to write one of these awful statements. It must be tricky putting a bold spin on a boring topic. Sugary snacks? I don’t care one bit. However, some writer in a dark corner of the corporate world spent hours on this document. “Winter-wonderland-inspired selections of the brand’s classic snacks.” Wow, that is some lofty writing.
And that awkward third-person positive writing? A writer would probably break their arm after giving themselves such a pat on the back. Well, let me give it a try. “Acclaimed author Bill created a new sentence in his latest blog. Our four-person team is proud of his tremendous accomplishment.” What team? Oh, that’s you.
You’re the best -Bill
November 23, 2022
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