My Dirty Laundry
In my past blogs, I revealed a writing tick; I duplicate my thoughts. Sometimes this occurs in the same sentence. After much consideration, I now understand I need to reiterate my point. Doing it twice for good measure. See, I did it again.
It took a while to identify this tick, and when I write, I duplicate my thoughts less often. So I thought it would be a fun exercise to collect a few boo-boo's and discuss them. Without further ado, here they are:
"I'm not sure how to feel right now," Gabe said in a weak voice. "I don't know what to feel."
I guess Gabe really wanted us to know he did not know. I must have edited this section ten times over two years. Wow.
That night, Gabe spent the evening looking for new jobs in the likely event that tomorrow would be his last day.
Knowing it would be his last day was important. Day, day, day!
Chastising a person for not having experience is not nice. Should all those teachers and employers talked down to me? No, but it is human nature to feel superior.
These three sentences are from a recent blog, and the issues are more subtle. Still, this is confusing.
Without speaking, team members quietly took images.
Quietly being quiet for quiet's sake. Quietly.
I did not understand, and it took eight seconds to comprehend that somebody had spoken to me.
This sentence is like watching a car crash into another car and then crash into a third.
In all off-world instances, an ACO has full authority. We have full authority to contain the situation by any means necessary.
Apparently, they have full authority to keep speaking.
Steve showed me an amazing mind self-explore. It's amazing.
Is it amazzzzing?
Russell let out an enormous sigh. "The Racer X key breach," he guessed with a big sigh.
How many times can a person sigh?
The result was a bloody mess. She turned to look at the man she had been struggling with. There was blood all over him and the wall.
I wonder if I got any blood on my keyboard?
There were many great scenes and descriptions. This is an outstanding first work with tight dialog, crisp scenes, and wonderful descriptions.
These two sentences are from a book review, and the amount of duplication is hysterical. What was I thinking? Thinking?
Afterward, each franchise went back to doing their traditional work, and the two groups never interacted again. It is unlikely we will ever see the two characters legitimately together again.
Wow, these two really do not want to be together.
We are counting on you to make successful contact with my son. All three of our lives depend on your success.
A successfully unnecessary second successful sentence.
During the long flight, the family interacted little. Emma looked straight ahead for the entire flight with her hand on Kim's leg.
Apparently, it is essential to communicate how long the flight was.
When I opened the box, I found my laptop, Arturo's knife, and my other Dawson's Creek notebook inside the box.
Did I open the box twice?
His hands shook, and I thought he would fall over. He almost fell over while staggering out of the room.
I uncovered these two sentences an hour ago. It made me so mad that I had to get up and walk around.
We all have our minor problems, and I should be grateful for not having severe writing issues. What does this tick say about my writing? I am passionate about my topics but inexperienced about how to express them. Wow, I wrote a lucid sentence. What a spectacular sentence. I did it again. Darn it!
You’re the best -Bill
September 08, 2021
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