Trying to Be Offensive
I was born with little self-esteem, and building it to the modest amount I have today took great effort. This growth was not achieved naturally; instead, I forced myself to man up, be outgoing, try new activities, go places, talk to people, accept mistakes, gain a voice, date girls, and form my own opinions.
What is the overall self-esteem improvement between 10-year-old Bill and today’s Bill? He is more confident. What is confidence? One could argue that confidence is managing and encouraging offensive behavior. “I’m right; you’re wrong.” “You overcharged me.” “This is the way we’re going to do things.” Young Bill would have never uttered such bold statements.
Is it wrong to be offensive? People need to push back in this modern age, or society will squish them. Is the term “you overcharge me” offensive? Let’s review the statement from the receiving perspective. An angry customer is complaining. While the tone may be pleasant, the hostile intent is clear. So, indeed, the statement contains some offense.
From my mid-twenties on into middle age, I mellowed out. Life is too short to be upset about the little things. I am now a family man who regrets past arrogance, and I try hard to be a pleasant, upstanding individual.
That is until I start writing. Stories must be larger than life, unrealistic, and controversial. Does this mean they are offensive? No matter what happens, some people will be offended, but a bold story requires offensive elements.
On the far end of the scale is a light romance with a timid hand-holding scene. “They briefly grasped hands to share their love.” It’s not steamy, but some people could consider this statement radically offensive. “How dare you expose my children to public displays of affection!” This is a valid concern. We must remember that not everybody can handle raw emotion, and people have different values. For example, the Amish certainly would not approve of public affection. Side note. How are Amish babies made? Some hand-holding must be going on.
My works contain murder, torture, intimate scenes, and underage relationships. To date, I know that four people were offended by my words. Is this bad? I feel deep regret and wish they had not read my books. Did I intend to upset them? Of course not. I tried to write exciting books that everybody enjoyed, but this effort pushed my boundaries far outside my comfort zone. I did so knowing there would be consequences.
Writing offensive material is not natural or easy for me. When creating such works, I care to be as tasteful as possible. For example, I limit vulgar words to the absolute bare minimum. In addition, I show how a character’s morals became corrupted to justify their offensive behavior and make sure the law catches up with them.
Yet, my view on this topic is representative of a limited slice of our society. Many people go out of their way to act offensively and are clearly aware of their actions. For example, the television show South Park pushes the limits of society into bold new realms. Their Barbra Streisand episode was particularly mean.
Let us not forget that life is offensive. Earth has (and will have) wars, slavery, brutality, crime, corruption, bad parents, and inequality. Refusing to write or read about these offensive topics causes readers to repeat past mistakes. For example, letting a dictator take over a country is not a good idea. Why? (Insert fact-filled genocide description here.) That’s why.
Writing about offensive topics, if often entertaining, educational, and overall, is a positive experience. Take the movie Saving Private Ryan with Tom Hanks. The story is set in WWII and depicts facts mixed with fiction and gory action. What did I think about that movie? I enjoyed every scene. However, my Uncle Al chose not to watch this movie. He even turned away from the movie preview because it reminded him of his time in Vietnam.
Let’s examine that concept. My late Uncle Al was a big, tough guy. Why would a strong-willed person like him get offended by a trivial movie? The answer does not matter. Al had the right to decide what he liked and did not like. In this case, the movie offended him even though he did not see it.
What do I say to the people I offended? I can only say that I am sorry. Should I keep apologizing? Should I stop writing? Should I only write fluffy, good material?
The answer is that I need tougher skin. No matter what I do, I will offend somebody. That’s life. My choice is to move forward. This includes pushing story boundaries even if they might cause problems. Dang that is a hard pill to swallow.
I must remember that my work has also delighted readers, and they left many excellent reviews that have deeply touched me. Overall, writing has been 30% frustrating and 70% positive. Now, I need to concentrate on making it 71% positive.
You’re the best -Bill
May 06, 2020 Updated January 25, 2025
What is the overall self-esteem improvement between 10-year-old Bill and today’s Bill? He is more confident. What is confidence? One could argue that confidence is managing and encouraging offensive behavior. “I’m right; you’re wrong.” “You overcharged me.” “This is the way we’re going to do things.” Young Bill would have never uttered such bold statements.
Is it wrong to be offensive? People need to push back in this modern age, or society will squish them. Is the term “you overcharge me” offensive? Let’s review the statement from the receiving perspective. An angry customer is complaining. While the tone may be pleasant, the hostile intent is clear. So, indeed, the statement contains some offense.
From my mid-twenties on into middle age, I mellowed out. Life is too short to be upset about the little things. I am now a family man who regrets past arrogance, and I try hard to be a pleasant, upstanding individual.
That is until I start writing. Stories must be larger than life, unrealistic, and controversial. Does this mean they are offensive? No matter what happens, some people will be offended, but a bold story requires offensive elements.
On the far end of the scale is a light romance with a timid hand-holding scene. “They briefly grasped hands to share their love.” It’s not steamy, but some people could consider this statement radically offensive. “How dare you expose my children to public displays of affection!” This is a valid concern. We must remember that not everybody can handle raw emotion, and people have different values. For example, the Amish certainly would not approve of public affection. Side note. How are Amish babies made? Some hand-holding must be going on.
My works contain murder, torture, intimate scenes, and underage relationships. To date, I know that four people were offended by my words. Is this bad? I feel deep regret and wish they had not read my books. Did I intend to upset them? Of course not. I tried to write exciting books that everybody enjoyed, but this effort pushed my boundaries far outside my comfort zone. I did so knowing there would be consequences.
Writing offensive material is not natural or easy for me. When creating such works, I care to be as tasteful as possible. For example, I limit vulgar words to the absolute bare minimum. In addition, I show how a character’s morals became corrupted to justify their offensive behavior and make sure the law catches up with them.
Yet, my view on this topic is representative of a limited slice of our society. Many people go out of their way to act offensively and are clearly aware of their actions. For example, the television show South Park pushes the limits of society into bold new realms. Their Barbra Streisand episode was particularly mean.
Let us not forget that life is offensive. Earth has (and will have) wars, slavery, brutality, crime, corruption, bad parents, and inequality. Refusing to write or read about these offensive topics causes readers to repeat past mistakes. For example, letting a dictator take over a country is not a good idea. Why? (Insert fact-filled genocide description here.) That’s why.
Writing about offensive topics, if often entertaining, educational, and overall, is a positive experience. Take the movie Saving Private Ryan with Tom Hanks. The story is set in WWII and depicts facts mixed with fiction and gory action. What did I think about that movie? I enjoyed every scene. However, my Uncle Al chose not to watch this movie. He even turned away from the movie preview because it reminded him of his time in Vietnam.
Let’s examine that concept. My late Uncle Al was a big, tough guy. Why would a strong-willed person like him get offended by a trivial movie? The answer does not matter. Al had the right to decide what he liked and did not like. In this case, the movie offended him even though he did not see it.
What do I say to the people I offended? I can only say that I am sorry. Should I keep apologizing? Should I stop writing? Should I only write fluffy, good material?
The answer is that I need tougher skin. No matter what I do, I will offend somebody. That’s life. My choice is to move forward. This includes pushing story boundaries even if they might cause problems. Dang that is a hard pill to swallow.
I must remember that my work has also delighted readers, and they left many excellent reviews that have deeply touched me. Overall, writing has been 30% frustrating and 70% positive. Now, I need to concentrate on making it 71% positive.
You’re the best -Bill
May 06, 2020 Updated January 25, 2025
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